As we ponder the results of the recent elections, we may find ourselves disappointed, delighted, depressed, perplexed, perturbed, elated, or simply uncertain. Many times, over the course of our lives we find ourselves faced with circumstances that are not what we had hoped for. How we chose to view and respond to those times is more important than the actual situation.
There are always two important things we can focus on that will help us move forward with a healthy and positive frame of mind. Anytime, but especially when things do not go our way or we are faced with a problem, it is good to reflect on these questions:
- What do I have to be thankful for?
- What needs to be done now?
The first question involves taking time to think about all that is good in our lives. This helps us keep things in perspective. If we take this step seriously, we will almost always discover we have much to be grateful for. If we focus first on what is good in our lives, it becomes easier to believe that things will be good in the future. Gratitude shifts our attention to the positive aspects of our lives. It helps us to realize that our lives do not turn on any particular situation or outcome. If we take the time to make a list of all we are thankful for about our lives, our mental state changes from one of disappointment or despair to one of appreciation and positivity. By taking time to be thankful for all that is good in our life, we avoid making everything about this one situation. We can then think about how we move forward from here.
Now we ask ourselves what we can do now, given the current situation. This is an action question. There is always some action or series of actions that can be taken. What can you do to address the situation, to move on from it, to cope with it, to heal?
When it comes to election results, most of us, if we think about it, will continue to live our lives without much change. We will spend time with family and friends, work at our jobs, take care of our homes, participate in our hobbies, etc.
When faced with real problems that require solutions, we can begin to think about how to respond from a positive mental state. We may not be able to bring about the solution we desire, or even change the situation, but we can always take some action in response. If we are faced with a financial setback, we can decide to cut back on expenses and which ones make the most sense to reduce or eliminate. If we have had a failed relationship, we can decide to take care of ourselves and how best to do that. We can choose to spend some time alone or reach out to others. If a facing a health issue, we can take steps to best respond and make decisions about what we can do to insure the best outcome for ourselves. Our action steps may not always change the situation but taking some action helps us not to feal powerless and defeated. We can decide to take a trip, to take a day off, to call a friend, to volunteer, to go for a daily walk, to invite someone over for coffee or a meal. Deciding to do something always trumps doing nothing. It gives us some sense of control in a situation that is not what we want it to be.
Disappointment, problems, and failure are part of life. How we face those times in our lives can have a huge impact on the quality of our day-to-day living, and on our relationships with others. We always have the capability to choose how we will react to any situation we face. There is always something we can do, even if that means simply accepting the situation and moving on with our lives. Our best method of handling life well begins with focusing first on all that is right and good with our life. The attitude of gratitude empowers us to make the best of any situation.
Kent Shafer 