The holidays are a busy time of year for most of us. With decorations to put up, gifts to purchase and wrap, social gatherings to attend, errands to run, along with all our other responsibilities, we often end up feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. It is good to stop and ask ourselves, “What am I doing to take care of me?”
It is important attend to traditions, to care about others, to improve ourselves and accomplish our goals, but unless we take care of our one instrument for success, ourselves, we will not be able to do any of these things well. It is not selfish to take good care of one’s self. In fact, we present our best self to our relationships, to our careers, to every area of our lives when we learn to care for our self. Spencer Johnson, MD, in his best-selling book, “One Minute for Myself” makes this statement,
“Before I can take good care of anything or anyone, I must first take good care of myself”.
An important question to ask ourselves regularly is, “What do I need to do to tend to myself right now?” This is an especially important question to ask ourselves when feeling overwhelmed, when things go wrong, when we have been hurt, or experienced disappointment. Many times, we have become so accustomed to being busy, striving for success, focusing on our goals, trying to please others that we do not take time to take good care of our self.
You are in the best position to take good care of you and it is your responsibility to do so. It is nice when others care for us too, but our primary source for maintenance and upkeep is us! Rabbi Harold Kushner claims,
“When we do not take good care of ourselves, others can never do enough to make us happy. When we bring out the best in our self, we bring out the best in others”.
I believe that there are four dimensions to our lives: Physical, Mental/Emotional, Social, and Spiritual. It is important both to care for each dimension, and to keep these dimensions in balance.
The Physical Dimension is the care and maintenance of our body. The basic areas here are diet, exercise, healthy lifestyle, and rest and relaxation. When we do not pay attention to any one of these areas, our physical health suffers.
The Mental/Emotional Dimension involves your mental and emotional health. Just as good physical health is importance to your effectiveness and success, so is good mental and emotional well-being. All of us have a certain amount of control over our thoughts, attitudes, and emotions. It is important that we pay attention to and deliberately work at keeping our thoughts, attitudes, and emotions healthy.
The Social Dimension recognizes our need for relationships with other people. Our success in every area of our life involves other people, and we humans are social animals. Other people are essential to our well-being. Much of our popular literature and entertainment glamorize the image of the self-made loner who needs no one. That may work in fiction but not in real life. Making time to enjoy being with others is important to our own well-being.
The Spiritual Dimension is probably the least well-known or understood. I am not proselytizing for a religious perspective. I am suggesting that there is dimension of our life that transcends everyday living.
The spiritual dimension of our lives is not about our individual betterment but is about recognizing our connectedness to all of life, and therefore, our insignificance compared to the whole. The world does not revolve around us! We are a part of something much vaster and more complex than we can possibly understand.
Paying attention to the spiritual dimension of our lives may mean religious practices for many of us, but for others, they are able to transcend the vicissitudes of everyday life through great action, great poetry, great music, great art, or communing with nature. The point of nurturing our spiritual dimension is first to accept that we have one, then consciously and intentionally make efforts to pay attention to this area of our life.
Whatever is on your list to do this holiday season, whatever else you are paying attention to, be certain to pay attention to these four dimensions of your life. Whatever else you must take care of, be sure to take care of yourself!
Kent Shafer 